New Blog!

Okay, my doctor today, this is a non-therapist one, suggested that I 'journal my emotions' as I deal with issues of losing weight. I know there are a thousand and one (or a billion and one?) weight loss blogs out there, but if it will help me as much as the therapy one did, I'm all for it.

Therefore, allow me to introduce:

Victorya Chase Goes On a Diet

Wherein I will chronicle not pound by pound, but emotion by emotion, struggle by struggle, and success by success my journey to a physically healthier me, not that mentally I'm on the right track. And, now that, as my doctor says, "you can walk and exercise again!"

Oh, and it will be updated WAY more than this one as it is my new main focus in improving myself.

So, here we go again!

Dental Woes Continue and Last Meeting

I had my official official last session with my therapist the other day. It was interesting. We talked more about my writing, really, and how that has changed. See, when I first went, I was scared, really scared to write. I was scared that someone might find me, might challenge me, might try to pull me down.

I don't know how to say it really, but I think I have more confidence now. I'm still jumpy as hell, especially when stressed. Just the other day a co-worker bumped into me and man did I reach the roof, lol, they're learning though. It's a learning process for all of us. One guy has finally learned not to point around me, it really bugs me, just the whole unpredictable movement things. But when it comes to meeting people, I'm there. When it comes to trusting others, way better. And when it comes to my dreams -

Recently I've had a couple dreams about my mother. Both involve her coming into my apartment, moving in. One just had her renting the apartment above mine. In both I fought back. I was adamant to my landlord that she should not rent a place here, that I, a tenant in this complex for eight years who always paid would be out the door. In the other I kicked her out. I have control. Not that I want to run into her in real time.

Okay, I think I'm going to be all over the map today, I haven't written on here in a while and am not writing in word first. April 26th is the 'deathiversary' of my Penny, whom I wrote about before. My real mother. It's still hard that she's gone, I'm going up to her grave this weekend to leave pussywillows. I know it's a bit cliche, pussywillows for a cat, but I think it fits. If all goes well I'm going with a new friend I met, a non-online one. The online life is an easy escape, but I have to join the real world with the virtual.

Oh, and my dental woes continue, only now with my dental insurance used up, ugh. Now we're on to apico surgery, through the gum to get at a root. And this is all stemming from childhood dental work that was done wrong. Not even done wrong, they said it was partially completed and I was supposed to have it finished as a child. But through whatever happened I was always told it was a finished product, and it wasn't.

See, there is so much happening that can bring me to my past, but now I'm looking to a future. I have a future.

Cheers!

Long Time No See

Howdy!

Sorry I've been away for a while. I'm phazing out of therapy now, as I mentioned. I have another meeting in April, and am now doing an 8 week group thing which is interesting, but as it is a 'group,' we all had to sign confidentiality statements, which makes sense. I wouldn't want my real name blabbed and have no desire to talk about other peoples resolving issues.

Life has been interesting in that I forever have dental problems. I'm still, after over 12 hours in the dentists chair, not done with one root canal and then broke a tooth on the other side of my mouth leaving me on mush for a while. I noticed now that when I click peoples links, more blogs have gone private which is sad. I miss you guys!

I hope all is well/better/getting better with everyone.