Saturday, August 25, 2007

What's Your Favorite Color?


When I was younger, my favorite color was yellow. Everything had to be yellow. My mother called me her ‘sunshine girl’ and painted my room a brilliant shade, and I loved it. My mother’s favorite color was always blue when I was younger.

I was never really a pink girl. I wore no bows, had no sweet pink lace plaited in my hair. In fact, I loudly voiced my distaste of those prissy pink people all dressed up in, well, dresses and ribbons and other such ‘nonsense.’

Of course, a lot of that had to do with envy I’m sure. I couldn’t be a pink girl, as I wore my brother’s hand me downs so often. In fact, I didn’t like pink for the longest time, until college. Then I bought a pair of pink sneakers. I wore them across the stage at graduation. I guess someone commented that it didn’t seem dignified, me wearing pink sneakers at the commencement ceremony. But it signified that I finally accepted my femininity (point 1) and the day before, Xiamora and I had gone to the zoo. While there, I tripped and fell and got a nice ride in a golf cart by the security personnel to the nurse’s station. There, I spoke with the nurse as she talked about being profiled in some trade magazine and how they have a venom repository and anti-venom is air-lifted from them to all over the world when people are bit by snakes. She bandaged up my ankle (which had been badly twisted) and told me to stay off of it and to stay in sneakers for a while with it bandaged. She then wrapped it in an Ace bandage with some ice and sent me of on my way (point 2). So there was no way I was going to wear heals, and it was lucky I had the pink sneakers.

I do like pink now, but it’s not my favorite color. I went through the black phase. Everything had to be black, and I wanted my room painted black. Not that that happened. Black, the color of darkness, the color of despair, the color that isn’t even a color, just like I wasn’t a person, wasn’t a girl. Black absorbs all other colors but has none of their own, just like I absorbed all that was going around but did nothing myself, was nothing myself. I was just there to be the sponge to the hatred around me.

Blackness. I still appreciate it, but for different reasons. I like the dark, I was never afraid of it, I actually felt safer there where I couldn’t be found, where other’s would stumble I could move with sure movements. Blackness was very inviting, even the inhabitants of the darkness – those hiding from a world they either want to destroy or that wants to destroy them. I acknowledged it, embraced it, and when given the chance moved on.

Red is my favorite color now. At first, my mother said it was anger. She hated red, said it was all my ire, my hatred for the world. But she was wrong. It is a vibrant color, and that of fire, of the phoenix. From the ashes of fire rises the phoenix, new and reborn, in brilliance and splendor. Fire is a cleanser, and has been throughout history.

I find it interesting that as my favorite color changed to red (as it still is) my mother’s changed from blue to purple. Sure, she tried to say why my color was wrong, and yet she adopted it, blending it with her own once favorite, to become purple.

Fire is life, it is brilliant, and has no anger, it just is. And that’s what I’m going for – life, as is, no questions asked. To just be.


I do so love red. What’s your favorite color?

9 comments:

Shan said...

mmm, interesting.. Tell you the truth, I never had a favorite color, but then come to think of it, I never really had much of a favorite of anything... Not sure why..

But these days, I am developing a fondness for navy blue and white and also black with white. I have no idea why. I think it's because of my desire to be clear cut in things I do, maybe it's cause I hate the grey areas...

But I think I have visited your blog before... It's very personal and I love personal blogs!

It allows me to see the person who is writing the blogs and allow me to understand more about life.

Why don't you come and visit mine and see if you like mine. If you do, I'd absolutely love to make a new friend and add you to my blog roll.

Looking forward to your reply!

Shan!

P.S. I think I have seen you on my blog before... :)

Victorya said...

I think I have been to your site!

Dark colors with white look so clean next to each other, no? I love the part where they meet - just so perfectly delineated.

Nice to see you here!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

I'm a fan of emerald green, mostly because it suits me and brings out the green in my eyes - which are a green/blue/grey shade. I get lots of compliments if I wear green. I just enjoy the attention :-)

Amel's Realm said...

I love BLUE!!! Always have been. Strangely enough, not many clothes of mine are blue. However, I was never a pink girl myself when I was a girl. I was a tomboy and I've always liked wearing shorts and pants rather than a skirt. I hate frilly gowns or shirts he he he...

I love red, too, for clothes...red is FAR better than orange (for clothes) IMO he he he...

My Mom kept on saying, "Do wear bright colours when you're young, 'coz when you get older you might feel you're too old to wear them." HE HE HE HE HE...

I love other neutral colours, too. Especially after living here in Finland, I need to pick the "right" colours as I may need to wear layers of clothes and I sure don't want to look like an unfashionable rainbow HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Btw, CHEERS to LIFE, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!

^_______________________________^

Paper Fan Club said...

My favourite colour now is probably magenta/hot pink, although I wasn't really a "pink" girl growing up, either. Nothing cheers me up than buying something in my favourite colour, whether it's a new sweater or a bright bouquet...

Victorya said...

fish - I love emerald! Such a rich deep green but with that vibrancy in it.

Amel - nothing wrong with looking like a rainbow! Just remember Roy G Biv (the colors of the rainbow in order, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet). I wear a lot of neutral colors to work though, but love to shock with real colors!

Paper - isn't it great to find something flattering in your favorite color? Magenta/hot pink is a great one too. I have this fuzzy red blanket, such a rich and bright red, and my friends say it looks a bit like it belongs in a house of ill-repute, but I still love it! lol

Amel's Realm said...

Yeah, I know, Vic...it's just that I've had enough attention already by being Chinese in Lapland...I don't want to attract more attention if need be he he he...

Have a BLESSED Sunday!!!

Amel's Realm said...

Hi, Vic,

For being one of those people who've inspired me and been my blogger friend,

Here's a Nice Matters Award for you, pls follow the link! ;-D

Nice Matters Award

Have a WONDERFUL Sunday!!!

Jessica Weisenfels said...

I don't believe in favorite colors, though I do have a small list of not-favorite colors. Like neon green, for example.