I Want To Fly Away

photo copyright: victoryachasegoestotherapy.blogspot.com
camera used: Casio ex-s500 (red)


This was a tough weekend for me. The landlord was supposed to fix my window, which involved me taking a day off of work because the window repair shop is only open weekdays. Now, the day was to involve them removing my window, then bringing it to the shop to return around noon - which would leave me without a window in my apartment. So of course, the Super (think of him as the apartment manager, supposed to repair things in the building) says he doesn't want to stop by before work so he'll take the window out at night.

"No way" I tell him.

"You be safe," he says, thickening his accent (I swear it's to claim ignorance).

"No way," I tell him.

Meanwhile, when I call the landlord, he tells me that I should go to work, I shouldn't miss work because they have to fix my window.

"So you'll have someone posted then, to make sure no one climbs up the fire escape and into my apartment."

"No," he says, now his accent starts to thicken, "I don't guarantee safety."

Long story short, I go way longer than I'm supposed to without a window to my apartment. When the landlord drops it off, he doesn't put it in but runs out the door. I notice the frame isn't on correctly. The super hits it with something (coming up AFTER he ate dinner, despite me talking to his wife who covered for him) to make it fit, but it still worries me. I call the landlord again, but nothing.

Now, the number one trigger for me is safety. I spent over 12 hours without a window in my apartment - safety compromised. My cackles are up, or whatever the phrase is, and I hate the feeling of the racing heart, the inability to sleep (waking up every few hours), the jumping at every sound (the pigeons were landing on my AC all weekend, every scrape of their claws on the metal had me jumping), the lack of focus (meaning I got no homework done) and the desire to flee far away from here. It of course, also led to a couple dreams with both R. and Mother, but at least I told them both off. However, I wasn't able to get away from Bush when he decided to reinstate the draft for all genders, everyone under the age of 35. So last night, in my dream, there I was in the military.

At least I have the park, I took a nice walk to cool myself off. That's a seagull. I couldn't beleive how lucky I was to get this shot - there he is, wings fully spread, tips turned up, as he soars out over the water. That's a freedom I wish I had over the weekend.