Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blogging Against Abuse

Today is Blog Catalog's Blogger's Unite Against Abuse Day. The badge above was created by one of the talented administrators there.

Now, I figure my blog is basically a case against abuse, right? But just in case it isn't clear, here are some tips for the parents out there.

Parents - I know kids can be frustrating. They don't do what you want them to, they don't always behave in public, and sometimes they act out for attention. Your child may not be as good-looking as you, or as smart as you, that's because of one simple fact - they aren't you! Please recognize that each child out there is different from their parents and an individual in their own right. They are not 'mini-me's' cloned for your amusement. They have feelings and emotions separate from you. They like things that are different. And even if they don't yet, they have the ability in them to be a separate entity.

To that end - DO NOT:

  • Remind them that you were prettier as a child than they are.
  • Constantly tell them that a subject for which you didn't do well in school is 'hard and useless' - you're creating a stigma.
  • Tell them that the subject they love is useless and they'll never excel in it anyway
  • Call them names.
  • Call others names in front of your children.
  • Insult specific 'races' or 'peoples' in front of your child.
  • Trade affection for chores or other items, "You want dinner honey? You have to hug me."

Of course, there are other items that really shouldn't need to be said, but I will:

  • Drag them around the house by their hair then cut it off in chunks for 'being so vain.'
  • As 'punishment,' drag them out of bed at 3 am in the morning and throw them in the shower because they didn't remember to put their toys away earlier.
  • Force a child to eat something after they throw it up.
  • Hit your child. With anything. It's incredibly confusing to kids when that happens.
  • Kick your child.
  • Tell them, "it hurts me more than it hurts you" as you spank them. It's confusing.
  • When they cry, don't say, "I'll hit you until you stop crying," that is wrong on so many levels.
  • Threaten your child with bodily harm and especially with sexual acts.

Parents, Please do:

  • Love them and watch them grow with that mixture of joy and wistfullness.
  • Encourage the differences and get interested in their new lives.
  • Pay attention to their behaviours, be open about what abuse is and let them tell you if something is wrong.
  • Harbour genuine trust between you and your children.
  • Treat your children with respect.
  • Have patience.

Now, I know I've never had kids, I've just had cats. But the trust and respect issue goes a long long way. Do not abuse your child, mentally, phsyically, emotionally, sexually. Love them with all your heart and be the guardian's they need you to be.

This is in response to:


P I F F L A N said...

things that should be obvious, but are not...

Amel's Realm said...

I love this post, Vic.

Anyway, I've tagged you with an easy and fun meme. Check this out:

Desktop Meme

Liss said...

awesome post - but see what ya made me do over at my blog

Victorya said...

Pifflan - Sad, no? I can't stand how much really does need to be said, like 'lather, rinse, and repeat' for shampoo - 'love, respect, and trust'

Amel - thanks! That one I can do :) I've been so swamped lately, sorry about that!

Liss - I love that post! So glad to see you here too (major hugs) and so happy you like Icanhascheezburger, just an awesome site.

Amel's Realm said...

No worries if you're busy, just take your time. First things first...the blogosphere can wait he he he...

Badthing1 said...

Hi Victorya :)

Very emotional
Very true
Very excellent