Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Flowers Arrived!

(picture from http://www.flowersociety.com/)

My grandmother got her flowers.

When I went to choose it was interesting, as I realized I don’t know her at all. “What if she’s allergic?” I thought. “How old is she now, what would she like?”

So I went to the oldest person at work, and asked him his opinion. He went by what his wife would like receiving, and we chose Peruvian Lilies in a vase. I had looked at the baskets, thinking that they say ‘grandma,’ but he told me a vase might be appreciated more, and the flowers might last longer in a vase than a basket. So I went with a bouquet of these lilies.

At first I was worried, as when I received the e-mail confirmation it said the flowers were left at her front porch door. Now, granted she lives on the top of a hill but I wondered if she ever received them. When a day went by without a call, I finally caved and called her.

Now, last time I spoke to anyone in that household I was told my grandmother was deaf, yet, she answered the phone and spoke very clearly. Though, since she did most of the talking, who knows?

She was ecstatic, absolutely overwhelmed with the flowers, telling me she hasn’t gotten any in years as at her age (86) all of her friends are now dead. I think I get my bluntness from her side of the family.

I was happy that she was so content, and it was nice to hear her say that I was always her favorite grandkid, I’ll admit it.

But then, then she went and said something that scared me. She told me that she’s happy that we got in touch so I can take care of her now.

Uhm, yeah. That really set my bells a ringing because I don’t even have a cat anymore due to feeling trapped. I understand that she’s old, but she’s not alone. She lives with my Aunt (her daughter) and my cousin (her grandson) who is probably about 36 or so now. My aunt has had that same job for over 20 years as the butcher in a chain grocery store.

Half of the reason it constricted my breathing was the thought of me having to take care of someone I don’t know, and giving up the life I’m working for now. But I was able to calm that down and realize she is just an old woman overwhelmed by emotion and her ‘ailments.’

The other half of why it bugged me was that it assumed her daughter would die before her. When I first moved to NYC, my mother told me that when I die she wanted all my artwork. “Don’t you mean if?” I asked.

“No, when. I know you’ll die before I do,” she replied quite coolly.

I hated that, her telling me that my decision to leave her was basically my death, and then the claim on my artwork that she had fought against for so long. I’m no fan of mother’s assuming or anticipating their children will die before them.

As an update, yesterday I got a card from my Aunt telling me that grandma loved the flowers and that they know I love them, and they love me as well.

Familial love, who knew it was possible for me?


P I F F L A N said...

What a wonderful thing to do for your grandmother. Little gestures of love can mean so much.
I gave my blogadress to some of my relatives and since then I got som unexpected support from some of them, I also felt for a moment, that maybe I actually do have a family...
Family love....such a strange concept...

Amel's Realm said...

Glad to hear your grandma loved the flowers. I was already sure that she'd love 'em anyway he he he...

I understand your fear, though. Well, at least you know that your grandma's with your aunt and cousin. ;D

I can't believe your Mom said such a thing to you! Tsk tsk tsk...

And I'm glad your Aunt cared enough to send you a message. ;-D

Victorya said...

Pifflan - congrats on being so brave as to tell your family about the blog! And double congrats for them giving some positive support, you're doing well.

Amel - The card was really cute, there were even little kitties on the envelope :)

Amel's Realm said...

OOHHHH...Little kitties????? That's AWESOME! ;-D

Anonymous said...

Your grandmother was very touched by your gift of the flowers. A show of proper manners and kinship sending you a thank you card. You did good.